The Social Fallout

Mike fastened and unfastened his jacket button. He could see people heading into the networking function as he got out of his car and crossed the road. He noticed the knot in his stomach and told himself it was ridiculous. 

The tendency to cancel had been in the back of his mind all day.

Rationally he knew the sundowner was important to attend and he’d lost count of the times he found himself at industry events. But that did nothing to dispel the background agitation he felt as the day’s end got closer.  Ihe guys from his old company would be there - their recent IPO in all the headlines.  

He stood at the door.  An outsider ready to play the role of an insider surveying the back slapping, handshaking, sorority-like brotherhood.  

Anxiety about networking events (often all social events) has skyrocketed since the pandemic, amplified by the social media age where interactions are planned, prescribed and curated on Zoom.  It isn’t new but it is rarely talked about. 

Statistically, up to 12% of people suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder (previously referred to clinically as Social Phobia), which is defined as a fear (irrationally so) of negative evaluation by others that impairs the ability to function.  Up to 40% of us report anxiety about networking and social events to an uncomfortable but lesser degree.  

The pandemic  reduced our baseline for social interactions, and many came out with a lower tolerance to being socially depleted. Ask any conference or event planner about the average number of no shows and most will tell you it is a much higher percentage than it used to be. 

Saying you had tested positive to Covid became a get out of jail free card even when you hadn’t - it was never questioned and you were lauded for putting the pack first. Even accomplished leaders can take a while to separate the difference between being good at it, and feeling deeply uncomfortable by it all the same.  

Introverts, early career professionals, and people with predisposition to anxiety seem to struggle most, but few of us are exempt. In others’ eyes Mike assumed he was the guy who lacked the witty one liners. Where silence responded in people excusing themselves to refill their glass and not come back, and conversations felt like either a groundhog day of small talk or the awkward triangle of voyeurism - standing with two others engaged in a vigorous and warm conversation with each other. 

It’s time to normalise that just like not everyone is having smashed avo or on a ski holiday with their arms around the perfect family, not everyone walking into networking feels ok. Most of us peak in anxiety in the 15 minutes before and after arriving. If it sounds a bit like you, our Power Tips this week might help. If it doesn’t, keep an eye out for Mike. It will mean the world.